


his only weakness

by ralf



Series: pillow talk [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Cute, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gratuitous Princess Bride Reference is Gratuitous, Humor, Lightwood Family Feels, M/M, Parabatai Feels, Sweet, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 14:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16578269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralf/pseuds/ralf
Summary: “You know my answer... but I never got to ask you what you're scared of.”





	his only weakness

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is not _strictly_ show canon, but it's one of my favorite book canons and I don't feel bad transferring it because nothing in the show contradicts it. enjoy ;)

There's a question burning on the tip of Magnus's tongue and he's fought it back five times already when Alec shifts his hand from tracing endless patterns across Magnus's side to his cheek. “I can feel you fretting. Just say it. I'm sure it's not as bad as you seem to think.”

Magnus huffs at being found out so easily and pettily grinds his chin into Alec's chest. “It's not.”

It's not really bad, per se, just.. a little heavy. Tinged with even heavier memories.

“See?” Magnus can hear Alec's smile.

Magnus hesitates for another moment but Alec asked for this. And he's curious. “You know my answer... but I never got to ask you what you're scared of.”

Alec's fingers that were smoothing along his neck falter only for a second and Alec hums pensively. “Pretty normal things, I guess. Dying on a mission. Losing one of my siblings on a mission.” He squeezes Magnus. “Losing you.”

Magnus gives an involuntary chuckle. “Only you, Alexander, would call those normal fears. In a city where hardly anyone thinks about their own death on more than a yearly basis.”

Alec shrugs, jostling Magnus slightly and Magnus snuggles closer. “I guess that's part of being a Shadowhunter. I deliberately think about it every time before heading out. It helps keeping me focused, knowing what's at stake if I mess up.”

Magnus bites his lip and refrains from point out that carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders is only going to crush him. Not everything that goes wrong is the direct consequence of Alec failing, and thinking like that is a surefire way to drive himself crazy. Magnus knows that from experience. But he also remembers Alec watching him with earnest eyes, telling Magnus that he is his responsibility now, and he knows a losing battle when he sees one.

Instead Magnus decides to steer the conversation back on track. “Any more mundane fears?”

Alec remains silent for a few breaths, thinking. Magnus can pinpoint the exact moment something comes to mind because Alec tenses the tiniest bit. Magnus sits up to get a look at his face and the caught expression there that quickly turns into a pout tells Magnus that he is on to something juicy.

“No.”

“'No' you don't have more mundane fears or 'No' you're not telling me?” Magnus teases.

“Both.”

Magnus snorts. “You're aware that this contradicts itself, right?”

“I don't care.”

“Alexander...”

Alec rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically and Magnus knows he's won. Alec takes a deep breath and stares at the ceiling and Magnus watches him patiently for a few moments. “Ready?” he finally prompts.

Alec's lips twitch mournfully. “I'm just kissing my reputation as tough Shadowhunter goodbye.”

Magnus laughs. “You coo at cats, you never had that reputation.”

“Thank you very much,” Alec grouses, but he's grinning, too.

Amusement fading he meets Magnus's gaze. He doesn't ask Magnus not to laugh at him because he knows Magnus would never. Magnus smiles softly, encouraging.

Letting out his breath slowly Alec says, “I'm afraid of spiders.”

Magnus blinks. He didn't expect that. Then again, he didn't know what to expect at all.

“Large ones?”

Alec grimaces. “Well, the bigger the worse but.. any size, really.”

“Even tiny ones?” Magnus asks, not teasing, just.. he can't _imagine_ it. Alec, who's taller than him, scared of something the size of a toe nail.

Alec rubs both hands over his face in an obvious attempt to hide. “Yes, even tiny ones. Even ones so small you have to strain and squint to see.”

“Hey,” Magnus soothes, pulling one of his hands away and pressing it to his mouth. “It's alright.”

Alec peers at him with one unimpressed eye. “I'm self-aware enough to know it's a little pathetic.”

“Agree to disagree,” Magnus murmurs, pressing more kisses to Alec's fingers. A thought hits him and he pauses. “Isn't it difficult with demons then? Some of them look like spiders, right?”

“Some do, but that's different. They look distinct enough that it's not a problem and I have enough practice fighting them that they don't really scare me anymore.” Alec moves his other hand away from his face and laces his fingers with Magnus's. “It's.. I don't know. Very spider-specific. Any type of bug or fly or other weird little insect doesn't bother me at all, but spiders just... freak me out.”

“Are you just startled when you see them or...?”

Alec shakes his head. “No, it's not that. Or, not only that. I don't know how to describe it really, it's just that I see them and register them as danger. I know on a rational level that they couldn't harm anyone, I know they aren't even malevolent creatures like demons but whenever I see one or see someone unsuspectingly getting close to one I just leap into action as if it's a life-or-death-situation. It's instinct. I can't stop it.”

Alec chuckles and Magnus knows he's reminiscing. “I remember one time that Izzy and I were walking back from a practice lesson. We were kids, she was six I think?” He glances at Magnus, memories in his eyes, and Magnus can't help but smile in return. “So we were walking along the hallway when suddenly I spotted a spider crawling on the wall, barely a foot away, heading straight for us. And I lost it. I pushed her behind me and shouted for her to take cover.” He blushes a little in embarrassment. “Izzy didn't do that, of course. She just walked around me and asked what was going on. Meanwhile the spider was getting closer.”

“Oh no,” Magnus laughs.

Alec laughs, too. “Yeah. I just grabbed her and ran to my room to safety.. and there I realized what I had done. Izzy forced me to explain and then she stared at me with her huge eyes, slowly telling me that spiders weren't dangerous and I didn't need to be scared. It was _terrible_.”

“It's actually really sweet, when you think about it.”

Alec groans. “Yeah. But I wanted to protect _her_. Not the other way around.” He sighs. “I don't think she ever really understood. She never said anything mean about it, but she always refused to help me with getting rid of them. I think she thought she was doing me a favor with this. Help me face my fears or something.”

“Refused?” Magnus inquires.

A smile forms on Alec's face. “Yeah. Since Jace and I became parabatai it's not a problem anymore. Jace takes care of all the spiders.”

“Really?” Magnus thinks he probably shouldn't be so surprised by that. He knows he and Jace hold the same kind of devotion for Alec, but still. Imagining Jace chasing spiders for Alec is a little surreal.

Alec hums affirmingly. “Probably one of the best things that came out of our bond.” His lips quirk upwards.

At Magnus's questioning frown he explains, “When we were younger he would sometimes poke fun at me because he thought I was just pretending to be scared of spiders. Like some kind of running joke. But that changed drastically when we became parabatai.” Alec grins. “After the ceremony we got a week off of missions, to adjust to the bond so it wouldn't distract us in a fight. It was fall, so many spiders sneaking inside when the window is left open. One afternoon after our sparring session we were headed to our rooms to shower, I stepped through the door to mine and there was this big disgusting spider just sitting on the wall as if it belonged there. It gave me a good scare and sent my heart racing like crazy, when suddenly Jace burst into my room, blade drawn, looking around wildly to see what had set me off. When I showed him the spider he gaped at me as if I'd lost my mind before kicking me out of the room to dispose of it. He's refused to let any spider come near me ever since.” Alec smiles fondly. “He says it's because it unsettles him on a spiritual level to feel my fear because fear is such a foreign emotion to him, but he's not fooling anyone. He's such a softie.”

“So Jace has protected you from any mishaps for the past years?” Magnus asks innocently.

Alec sees right through him. “You just want to hear an embarrassing story, don't you?”

Magnus flutters his lashes. “I can neither confirm nor deny.”

Alec sinks deeper into the cussions, sighing. “Okay.” He ponders for a moment. “Izzy, Jace and I were out on a mission, making our way through a park and scouting the area for demons. Business as usual. There were the occassional bird and squirrel and everything. Then I noticed a tiny speck of dirt on my arm. I tried shaking it off but it didn't work, so I took a closer look to see what the matter was. It was a bug, just really really small, I didn't even feel it. If I hadn't seen it I wouldn't have known it was even there.”

Magnus has a pretty good idea where this is going and bites back a smile.

“I tried blowing it off, which apparently the bug didn't like because it started crawling away. On eight legs.” Alec glances at Magnus. “And in this horrible moment I realized this bug wasn't a bug but a spider. On my arm. Touching my skin. And I... reacted accordingly.”

When Alec doesn't elaborate Magnus guesses, “Flailing?”

Alec nods. “A lot of it. Also running around panic-stricken.”

“Screaming?”

Alec snorts. “To this day Izzy and Jace call it The Spider Screech. I guess I should be grateful they haven't told you about it yet.”

Magnus laughs. The image is too endearing. Not that he can properly imagine it, because he has yet to see Alec act frightened of anything. It figures that Alexander can face off all kinds of mortal peril unfazed but a tiny arachnid would be his undoing.

Alec watches him with fondness written plainly across his features even though Magnus's amusement is at his expense and Magnus leans close to press a kiss to his cheek. “There will be no repetition of that on my watch,” he whispers in Alec's ear. “From now on I'll arrange for every spider I see to meet its maker.”

Alec backs up a little to catch Magnus's eyes and frowns. “No, please don't do that.”

Magnus cocks his head, confused and Alec looks abashed. “It's not the spiders' fault I'm scared of them. I'm sure they contribute their fair share.. to the ecosystem...” He flounders because Magnus is giggling again. “What?”

Magnus leans his head against Alec's. “Do you have any idea how precious you are?”

“Uhm.” Alec blinks. “No?”

“Doesn't matter. I'm aware enough for the both of us.” Magnus grins and steals a kiss. Alec responds and Magnus gets a few more kisses than he bargained for.

Eventually Magnus pulls away. “And what fate would you have me inflict upon the spiders unlucky enough to wind up here?”

“You could put them outside?”

Magnus smiles. “As you wish, my darling.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to read a fic where Alec actually encounters a spider, click [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18705046) ;)


End file.
